It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

                                          

 

              Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

                                                                                                                        Proverbs 22:6

 

As we bring our traditional school year to a close… I hear the teachers begin singing, “It the most wonderful time of the year”, as they begin the end of year procedures. 

 This time of year brings one phase of our life to an end and another beginning. With the school children, they are attending awards ceremonies, and graduation ceremonies to mark this transition. 

The awards ceremonies celebrate the achievements and excellence of the student learning but also provide a positive, self esteem building experience for the student as he or she move into the summer months ahead. The awards ceremony allows the student to reflect upon their goal setting and their ability to reach those goals during the 9 month period of time.  As parents and teachers, encouraging children to set and reach goals is an important aspect of critical thinking and working students through this though process allows for mental development and celebration for the achievement of learning these skills. 

Attending the graduation ceremonies for the variety of ages from kindergarten, middle school , high school and college marks the end of one stage of our children’s’ lives and the step into another. In a society that does not provide consistent rites of passage to celebrate the travel of adulthood and all of its responsibilities, we use these graduation ceremonies as a pacifier and stand in. Other than graduation ceremonies our children also use, getting a drivers license, which is now 15 for permits and 16 for independent, celebrating the 18^th birthday that gives additional freedom and finally 21 which is the mark of true adult freedoms.

Many cultures and religions provide assistance with this celebration with customs, test or responsibilities. What can a parent do, to prepare their children for adult life with in the home? Are there skills that need to be learned that the schools or church cannot provide? 

I say yes…..

The Circle of Moms website published a blog a few weeks ago that identified 7 Life skills that need to be taught to our children. They are: 1 How to cook and plan and menu, 2. Laundry skills, 3. Time management, 4. Team work, 5. Basic money management, 6.Good cleaning habits and 7.How to let go of perfection. The schools have to focus on core curriculum and the churches are trying to provide a safe learning environment for spiritual growth but what are we going to do about the life skills in-between? This is where the family unit needs to come into play. Rituals and routines at home can also transition children from one stage of their life into another with gradually increasing the child’s responsibilities at home, allowing the child to assist with house hold chores and routines as well as an empowerment of accountability.  If each family environment prepared their children in the 7 skills identified on the Circle of Moms website, we would have a better prepared, well rounded adult. This would provide a team effort between the school, church and home to allow for success and the development of a total person.  

As a parent or grandparent making decisions concerning what is important in your child’s life, ask yourself, what are you teaching directly and indirectly depending on your expectations and requirements?  Are you holding your child accountable for what is important to build the BEST adult possible? When you celebrate the mile stones in your child’s life of graduation, driving and birthdays , are you gradually increasing your expectations and allowing for the child to grow in all aspects physically, spiritually, psychologically ethically and responsibility?  We only meet the expectations that are placed before us. Are you setting them high enough for learning and low enough for achievement?

Are you preparing your children to be independent, contributing adults to our community or are we allowing our children to depend on us too long?

Trust your heart with the Lord

                                           

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6

How do you convince your children that God has your mate picked out and a relationship will come in His time. How to do explain to your children that  when you meet the perfect partner that you will know, in your heart that you two are truly “soul mates” and intended to be husband and wife?

When our girls were between the ages of 8 and 10, I remember a discussion one afternoon concerning the topic of boyfriends and girlfriends. I would hear young children, some a early as 6 or 7 say that  “they were going together”.   I would ask them where were you going, when you cannot drive?

 Why would a child that young need to feel that they NEEDED to be connected to another individual of the opposite sex to fit into our societal frame work? 

Do our young children feel that they need another individual’s approval or association to feel that they have self worth or that their self esteem is high enough to function or fit in?

I remember telling my girls that if I locked them in their rooms and did not allow them to date , God would bring their husbands to our front door. They, of course, rolled their eyes at me, but they never, out loud, challenged that statement.

Guess what: my oldest daughter married a young man that she went to high school with, but got to know through the work place. They both worked in the same business. They did not have to go out and find each other. My youngest daughter is engaged to a young man that she met through family friends and our love for the lake and our lake activities. She too, did not have to “go out” and find each other.

God’s timing is Perfect!! 

That is worth saying again….. God’s timing is Perfect!!

When you plan and pray and try to live with a relationship with our Lord and Savior, trust that everything is perfect in God’s timing.

 Do you obediently walk through doors of opportunity? Do you have the faith that “All is well” or do you try to take matters into your own hands?

 Sometimes simply listening, waiting and acting on God’s call will be the best. DO you Trust, your body, soul and heart with God? Do you truly believe that God is in control of every aspect of your life, including your relationships?

 http://arlene-littlelifelessons.blogspot.com/

Transparent Trespasses

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. Isaiah 61:7

                                                   

In the Old Testament, The first born son of the family received the inheritance. Tying the Old Testament to the new… we as children of God are His first born and we are to receive our inheritance in heaven. When we identify ourselves as Christians, we then have the freedom to work for His honor and glory. The opportunity to have a job, to continually serve in all things, and a reason to rejoice that gives us everlasting joy.

As we move through our lives, God brings people to support us and assist us with our decisions. When we have Godly friends that really know us….. That is a blessing! You have heard me state the phrase many times that God puts the RIGHT people at the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time to do His will.

Last week my husband and I planned a boat trip with another couple down the Intracoastal Waterway.

We were to all meet at the marina at 9:00 a.m. to pull out for our adventure. Bobby and I spent the night on the boat the night before and we were busy getting things ready for the arrival of our friends in an hour. The phone rings and “ you guessed it”… they were delayed and instead being only an hour away, they were just pulling out for their 2 hour travel to get to us.  Putting the time line in perspective… This was the first of a domino effect of events yet to come. My husband then had a problem with the boat that was not evident earlier, the friends called and informed us that they had to turn around ten minutes from their home, after their departure due to one thinking that the other had completed a task and after their conferring in the car, they realized the other had not completed and so.. on…

My first reaction was, “Satan, get behind us!” As we worked through the series of events to finally depart the marina 3 hours later than planned, my thoughts moved from negative to positive. Why am I to question the series of events in our life? God’s timing is perfect!  Did the late departure of our friends and the boat problem put us at a location to complete a task or answer the prayer of someone else?  Was there a danger that we were averted from?

We did find out that during the time that we were scheduled to come through a very narrow passage, the channel was narrow and shallow with silt. If we had gotten to that point three hours earlier, we would have had less water. Going through the passage when we did, we only registered 2 ½ feet of water below the hull. What would it have been at a lower tide table? Was this danger avoided due to the timing of our domino effect events in our lives?

All of the people that we interact with and speak with or smile to are put in our path for a reason. I want to make sure that I am not an obstacle in someone’s path but a support.  I also celebrate with my friends. I think that with our Godly friends and family, we need to remove the PRIDEFUL facade and allow our hearts to be humbled. When friends and family share JOY… it is doubled. When SORROW is shared… it is halved. 

Who do you have in your life that you can truly experience transparent trespasses? Are you aware of the many blessings that are present everyday… even the engine problems, the flat tire and the birds singing outside the window?

"Approval Addiction"

 

   

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. 

                                                                 Luke 12:34  KJV

I am reading “The Life you’ve always wanted” by John Ortberg. I have been amazed at how many sand traps are set up in our lives just by the choices that we make.  He brings to light that some people live in bondage focusing their concern on what others think.  Am I wearing the right clothes?  Did I say the right words? Am I meeting the right people?  “My or my… a lot to do over little” would be what my Grandmother would say… She constantly reminded me that you focus your efforts on areas that are within your control. 

In the public school classroom, it is so apparent that children spend more of their time worried about the other students in their classroom and grade level than they do the curriculum that they are to master. Being an elementary and middle school teacher, I spend a lot of time as a mediator with third party gossip, emotional melt downs and social circle disturbances.

 Every day, I would ask a student, why it was so important what your classmates thought or said about you?  I found that the child’s success in my classroom was not based wholly on a passing grade on the test BUT in their acceptance in their social circle of “that days” friends. 

 This pressure to conform … the “approval addiction” is a ground level beginning that may lead children to give in to peer pressure. When a child feels the need to be accepted and may experience approval addiction, this may lead to the child agreeing to participate in activities that may or may not morally, ethically or physically fit within the acceptance of their family unit.  Providing the child with an environment of support that gives emotional, spiritual and social confidence to be a successful student is a support strategy to assist in student success and hopefully refocus the child’s efforts so that this student becomes a successful, God loving adult. Taking the focus off of the fashion clothes, the newest technology or owning what all all other classmates own is a step toward independent thinking and confidence. 

This “acceptance or approval addiction “is one, that after 30 years in the classroom, I am reminded that where I focus my earthy efforts, is where my heart is. 

Is the approval of others a focus of my attention?

Is criticism used as a resource for self improvement or is it considered as a source of punishment?

God knows our heart…. He knows our intention. When making choices, what makes the lasting impact, the love of worldly acceptance or the love of God? 

 Freeing myself to become the person that God can use….

 Freeing myself to focus on God’s desires for my live…. will allow me the choice to be….

 Free of worldly "Approval addiction". 

Where is my Treasure and my heart? Do others see this through my choices and my actions?

http://arlene-littlelifelessons.blogspot.com/